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Marriage Workbook

By Craig Caster



Husband, when you need to present a difficult issue to your wife, first review these instructions so you can handle any opposition in a biblical way.

In 2 Timothy 2:24-26, God tells us what we need to do:

2 Timothy 2:24-26, “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snares of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.”

Six points for success, from the Scripture in Timothy.

  1. Number one is “must not quarrel”. Do not argue or become defensive! What bad habits have you developed? Pointing out your wife’s weaknesses and elaborating on your strengths, or calling her crazy, will never work. You know, it takes two people to argue, but only one to stop it.
  2. Next is to “be gentle”, which means not harsh, mean, insulting, etc. And this also includes body language and noises such as snorting, blowing and sighing.
  3. The third point is, “able to teach”. Women are more emotional, and an effort to bring clarity through logic and fact can be helpful. Calmly defining what you think is the situation, restating what you believe she is saying, and asking questions can diffuse anger. Which leads us to being, “patient in humility”.
  4. The quality of “patience,” remember men, is one of the attributes of love. When my wife and I started learning and applying this material, there were things she was doing, or not doing, that really irritated me. I would literally tell God, “Oh, I can’t take it anymore. You don’t understand the wife that I got.”  Feel like this sometimes? Go read the book of Job in the Old Testament;your situation is better. Reading behind the lines, you can see that Job and his wife did not have a good relationship. And added to that, consider all the trials that came upon Job; obviously his wife was not on his side. Compare your trial, what you are going through and, believe me, Job wins.  And we read about former saints, our brothers in the Lord, and hear what they went through for Christ, to do God’s will. This is patience, which means we are called to endure with a good attitude.
  5. The fifth aspect of character that we are to demonstrate when opposition comes is “humility”, from the phrase “patient in humility, correcting those who are in opposition“. Having a humble heart means that you do not see yourself as better or more important than your wife, but totally equal in the sight of God. If you intend to address your wife about her behavior, it must be done from a position of equality, not superiority. Remember, you are not perfect as she is not perfect. Only God is perfect, and He only is qualified to be a judge.
  6. And this leads to “correcting,” which must be done as described, but is not to be avoided. Be straightforward; never act pitiful, which is most unattractive to a woman. What that means is not retreating, not becoming pitiful. Being pitiful is acting with self-pity, being the victim, and it is weakness and it is sin. This attitude is the opposite of godly leadership. This will be addressed in Week 7.


When addressing problems, or perceived wrongs, consider each of the points just mentioned. Read through the list and ask God to reveal areas needing change, and write them down below. Where you have failed, ask forgiveness from God, then your spouse. Take the items and make them a matter of prayer, daily bringing them before the Lord until they are worked out in your life. 

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