Loading...
Color Strip

Marriage Workbook

By Craig Caster

APPENDIX M

REASONS HUSBANDS FAIL TO LEAD OR WIVES FAIL TO AFFIRM THEM

The Bible reveals some common reasons that men do not lead as God desires, and why women do not affirm their husbands. The stumbling block, or stronghold, can be one or more of the issues listed below. If the Lord speaks to you in any of these areas, take time to confess it and ask Him to strengthen you to be obedient to His will. Write your confessions and prayers in the space provided for each area, when applicable.

  1. Unforgiveness

Has God brought someone to mind that you need to forgive: parents, spouse or….?

Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Forgiveness does not mean:

  • That the offender agrees what they did was wrong.
  • That the offender asks for your forgiveness.
  • That the offender accepts your forgiveness.
  • That the relationship has to be or will be restored.
  1. Deception

Satan tempts us to disobey Christ and doubt who we are in Him.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Satan uses these common tactics against us:

  • Lies, so we doubt the promises of God - read John 8:44
  • Condemnation or accusations, against others or ourselves - read Revelation 12:9,10
  • Bringing up our past, obscuring who we are in Christ - read 2Corinthians 5:17-21
  1. Persecution

Are you ready and willing to accept suffering as part of God’s perfect plan for your life, as you and your spouse work toward making these changes?

Romans 5:2–5, “…through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

1 Peter 2:20-21, “For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps”

  1. Selfishness

Remember it is not our way, but His. Not our timing, but His. Press on!

1 Corinthians 13:5, “…does not seek its own…”

Luke 9:23, “Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.”

Luke 14:26, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.”

Satan desires to derail your focus from the priorities of God to things not of God; past failures, the world’s temptations, or your selfish wants.

God Tests Us

1Thessalonians 2:4, “But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts.”

God Refines Us

Malachi 3:3, “He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer to the LORD an offering in righteousness.”

God tells us that He tests our hearts and will refine us through purification. This is a process, not a one-time event. As His testing reveals the sin in you, and your spouse, He desires that you would confess to Him and commit yourselves to abiding in Him daily, denyingyour sinful ways and following Him. Our part is to be in His Word, and to humbly come in prayer, asking for transformation into the image of Christ. As we walk in obedience, He will do the work so we can glorify Him.

God does not say that we are perfect because we do everything perfectly, but we are perfect when walk with a heart perfectly fixed on Him.

Psalm 101:2c, “I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.”

A “perfect heart” is a heart firmly directed toward God, and motivated by love to walk in a manner pleasing to Him in all our ways. In this we glorify Him. Write a prayer, asking the Lord for a “perfect heart” to walk within your home as He desires.

Read the verses below and answer the following questions.

2 Peter 1:2-11, “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

  1. Do you believe God has given you exceedingly great and precious promises? List the promises God has given you. Example: Salvation, all your sins forgiven, etc.

(Here are more verses to help you.)

Psalms 73:23-24, Psalms 91:1-2, Psalms 103:8-18, Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 11:28-30,

Romans 8:28-39, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Corinthians 9:8,

Ephesians 6:10-12, Philippians 4:6-7, Titus 3:4-6, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 5:6-7.

  1. By His divine nature, we are courageous, victorious, and able to do His will. We can become the leaders, husbands, fathers, wives and mothers He has called us to be. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”(Phil. 4:13). It is not by our power, for there is nothing good in us: "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”  (John 15:5).  It is only by His grace that we succeed. “So Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.’" (John 20:21).  Use the lines below and explain where we get our strength, how we appropriate that strength, and the result. If God gives us all that we need, what does He want us to do with it? 

Be patient.  Do not be discouraged.  Commit yourself daily to being transformed into the image of Christ, by God’s Word and His Spirit. Take responsibility when you fail. Then stand firmly in His will and watch what God does in your life.

You are not logged in so your progress will not be saved. Log in or register for free.