Now that you have established your parenting structure, which includes the Four Tools of Training enforced in love, you may experience times of defeat or frustration and begin believing that this parenting style does not work for your family. If this happens, don’t panic and look to the world’s methods! Don’t fall back on old habits! Instead, use the following evaluation checklist to discern the true source of the problem.
YOUR SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION
- How is your devotional life? Read Psalm 1:1-3. Would you use words like worshiping, listening, thanking, confessing, interceding, etc. to describe your daily communication with God?
- Do you read and meditate upon God’s Word in a daily quiet time?
- Are you trusting God with your finances and giving tithes regularly?
- Are your priorities in accordance with God’s desires for you and your family? Is the fruit of the Spirit evident in your life?
Remember: You must depend upon The Lord! The key is not your parenting methods, but a relationship with God!
COMMUNICATING IN LOVE
- Take the Effective Listening Self-Evaluation in Appendix and see how you are doing.
- Have you been reacting in the flesh to your children or responding to them in love?
- Take a moment and review What Love Is Not (Week 3:Day 4 – Week 4). Are there areas where you need to improve in your communication or apologize to your children?
Remember: Your communication with and toward your child reflects the value you have placed upon them.
TRAINING YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH DISCIPLESHIP AND DISCIPLINE
- The best way to train is by personal example. How are you doing?
- If married, are you and your spouse working together and supporting one another? How is your management style? Who is the main disciplinarian?
- Are you sticking to your rules and using only the pre-determined consequences and punishment, or has nagging, yelling, empty threats, and inconsistency crept back in?
- Are you praying regularly with your children? Have you followed through with your commitment to have a weekly family Bible study?
Remember: God loves you and He loves your children. You must trust Him. He did not give you the wrong children. He has not given you a task beyond your ability to accomplish as you trust in Him and obey His will.
Has God revealed areas in your family relationships where you have drifted off-course? If so, follow the steps outlined below to get your home back on course.
- Confess to God, acknowledging your weaknesses, mistakes, or failures.
- Receive God’s forgiveness. Allow Him to embrace you in His arms of love and grace.
- Repent by turning away from your error and commit to walk in obedience to His will.