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Parenting Discipleship

By Craig Caster

APPENDIX I – WORKSHEET

EFFECTIVE LISTENING SELF-EVALUATION

Homework

Complete the Effective Listening Self-Evaluation to help you become more aware of your listening habits. Answer each question thoughtfully and honestly.

Communicating Knowledge and Attitudes

# Do You… Most of the Time Frequently Occasionally Almost Never
1 …tune-out your child when you don’t agree with them or don’t want to hear?        
2 …concentrate on what is being said even if you are not really interested?        
3 …assume you know what your child is going to say and stop listening?        
4 …repeat in your own words what your child has just said?        
5 …listen to your child’s viewpoint, even if it differs from yours?        
6 …remain open to learning something from them, even if it seems insignificant?        
7 …find out what words mean when they are used in ways not familiar to you?        
8 …form a rebuttal in your head while your child is still talking?        
9 …give the appearance of listening when you are not?        
10 …daydream while your child is talking?        
11 …listen for main ideas, not just facts?        
12 …recognize that words don’t always mean the same thing to different people?        
13 …listen to only what you want to hear, blotting out your child’s whole message?        
14 …look at your child when they are speaking?        
15 …concentrate on your child’s meaning rather than how he or she looks?        
16 …know which words and phrases you tend to respond to emotionally?        
17 …think about what you want to accomplish with your communication?        
18 …plan the best time to say what you want to say?        
19 …think about how the other person might react to what you say?        
20 …consider the best way to communicate (written, spoken, and/or the timing)?        
21 …always care about your child’s emotional condition when speaking to them (if they are stressed, sad, worried, hostile, disinterested, rushed, angry, etc.)?        
22 …adjust your communication to each child’s personality?        
23 …think, “I assumed he or she would know that?” Assuming that your child knows and understands what you are communicating and/or communicated to them?        
24 …allow your child to respectfully vent negative feelings toward you without becoming defensive?        
25 …regularly make efforts to increase your listening efficiency?        
26 …take notes when necessary to help you remember?        
27 …listen closely without being distracted by surroundings?        
28 …listen to your child without judging or criticizing?        
29 …restate instructions and messages to be sure you understand correctly?        
30 …have a concerned attitude why your child feels the way they do?        

Effective Listening Self-Evaluation Scoring Index

Circle the number that represents the category you checked on each item of the
Effective Listening Self-Evaluation.

# Most of the Time Frequently Occasionally Almost Never
1 1 2 3 4
2 4 3 2 1
3 1 2 3 4
4 4 3 2 1
5 4 3 2 1
6 4 3 2 1
7 4 3 2 1
8 1 2 3 4
9 1 2 3 4
10 1 2 3 4
11 4 3 2 1
12 4 3 2 1
13 1 2 3 4
14 4 3 2 1
15 4 3 2 1
16 4 3 2 1
17 4 3 2 1
18 4 3 2 1
19 4 3 2 1
20 4 3 2 1
21 4 3 2 1
22 4 3 2 1
23 1 2 3 4
24 4 3 2 1
25 4 3 2 1
26 4 3 2 1
27 4 3 2 1
28 4 3 2 1
29 4 3 2 1
30 4 3 2 1
Total        

GRAND TOTAL:

110-120: Excellent Listener
99-109: Above Average Listener
88-98: Average Listener    
77-87: Fair Listener    
<77: Poor to Very Poor Listener

 

Your Score:

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